English Teacher: Uncle Lion English Academy (South Korea)

"You do want a job?"

"You do want make impression good on youth of style for improvement?"  

Please no rhetorical questions to 'hook my interest.' I'm only interested in the details of the job. Give me those in a straight-forward manner and you've got my interest.

You can read the entirety of this post here from www.tefl.com.

This redunkulous grammar structure is enough to make your head spin. But, that's why I actually like this post - it's hilarious!

A word of advice to Uncle Lion English Academy: Get a native speaker to edit/ proofread your job post before you submit it for thousands upon thousands of native English speakers to view.  

This is a cringe-worthy job posting. The pay is reasonable, as well as the contact hours, but the posting is enough to turn me off of this job. There's no quality in the presentation. So, dear job hunter, why should you believe this company would be good quality?

Things of note:

There's no mention of reimbursement for the medical check and visa costs. Most likely, they will not reimburse you. 

The medical insurance: yes, the company pays for half, but that means the other half is taken out of your paycheck each month. It's a common practice in Korea.

If you have to pay for the apartment, it is not mentioned. But methinks, you will not have to pay because they are stipulating you cannot smoke in the abode.

Here's an example of a good posting.

It's direct, provides necessary information about the job and, best of all, gives me a website to look for further information (in the complete posting). Well done! As well, there are no idiotic rhetorical questions that make me want to rip out my fingernails.

But as with any job in Korea, make sure the contract they send you in your home country matches the contract they ask you to sign once you get to Korea. If it doesn't match, don't sign. First, show your employer the differences, then negotiate, if need be. Second, if all else fails, you can always find another employer once you are in-country. You may have to do a visa run, however, to start a new contract.

Keep on high-alert for crap postings like this one from Uncle Lion (what a name for a company!) Spread the word of this shlock-fest, and hopefully employers will have to improve…at least with their job postings.

Do good English search for job make fun!

Resume Suggestions

You might think you need that curly, pink font to convey your fun, sassy personality. But, let me tell you from experience, you don't.

 

If you're a newbie, or an old-hand, looking for a job, this article "The Only Resume Advice You'll Ever Need" by Trudy Steinfeld at Forbes provides invaluable suggestions to give your resume a fighting chance.

Which font do you prefer to read on a resume?                                                Which font do you prefer to read on a resume? 

 

Vacancy: IH Tripoli (International House in Libya)

Would you like to work in Libya?

'Yeah, so what if it's a 'dry country,' where I can't get any alcohol? It's got the beach; it's in the Middle East region, so the pay's got to be good!'

Not at International House (IH) in Tripoli, Libya.

First, here's an excerpt from the USA Department of State's travel warning for the country of Libya:

 

 

 Second, here's an excerpt from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office in the UK:

 

 

 

 

 

Now, let me ask you again: Would you like to work in Libya?

'Ok, so it's dangerous. As long as I don't go out at night…or in the daytime unaccompanied…then, I'll be fine. The pay must be outrageously awesome if I'm going to teach English in a dangerous locale.'

Think again my friend. Here's the post from www.tefl.com

Besides the shared accommodation, the number of contact hours per week or the number of vacation days, the one glaring red flag to this whole operation must be discussed: the pay.

1,000 - 1,300 GBP / month? Are you insane? One could get a higher wage in Korea, China, and Saudi Arabia and not have to worry about being shelled or kidnapped by rebels!

I would not cross Libya off my list of places to teach in, but for companies like International House (IH) who are going to offer a deplorably low salary for risking one's life and limb to teach, no one should apply for this job.

Check the above mentioned countries for a better quality of life and pay. If you still want a Middle East experience, go with the Gulf countries as they are not in the midst of, nor have they just finished, a war. The pay in the Gulf is astronomically higher than this crap IH is offering.

How disrespectful to put such a low salary on my life! I'm worth…at least…twice as much!

In short, don't entertain even the thought of working for IH in Libya.  

English and Skype Online Teaching (Russia)

This posting is already displayed in its entirety, but if you want to check, you can read it here at Dave's ESL Café.

 

 

I hate these types of job postings. No, I'm not being a cranky new mom because some little baby was keeping me up all hours of the night. Let me explain…

The name of the company just grates on my nerves. 'English and Skype?' This screams to me, 'Me and my friend started this company who know nothing about ESL or education. We wanted to maximize profit by using an already established program that is free. Whoopee for us! We're super smart.'

However, if you were a teacher who had bad experiences teaching online with Skype, then you would know there is no Whiteboard option on Skype, where a teacher can write notes that are also visible to the student on his/ her screen. Also, Skype does not allow you to record the lessons, which is invaluable for students who want to review the lesson on his/ her own time. Skype is good for talkie-talk with friends, relatives or significant others, but not worthwhile for conducting online English lessons.

If this company was as exclusive as they tout themselves to be, they would've developed, or at least purchased, software conducive for teaching.

Also they want teachers to work a lot of hours which translates to they don't have teachers...most likely any teachers. Requesting upwards of 20 hours screams it is a start-up company.

This is what chaps my…kisser. The exclusivity of this crap company is evident in this posting. They think their … don't stink. But their posting has the opposite effect. You obviously can tell (you're a discerning prospective employee) that the presentation of the job posting is utter garbage.
 

They don't hire non-native English speaking teachers. Fine, whatever,  a company can require that.

The pay is dismal $10-13. 45 minutes....I could get a better hourly wage working for a Chinese company.

Personal experience...

The application process is just as retarded as this company's name. 

You click on the link here and you are brought to this application form which has a laundry list of questions related to grammar and your teaching expertise. So I wrote more than the word limit to answer the question items comprehensively. I attached my resume, and a few days later was granted a phone interview. 

The kicker...

The phone interview was nothing more than a grammar quiz! I thought I had already answered those retarded questions on the online application.  Even if you are an inexperienced teacher, you would've felt disrespected because the interviewer was speaking in this sing-songy pre-school teacher voice.

'Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay,' she said. 'What is the verb tense of this sentence: John goes to school.'

'Are you kidding me?' I asked. 'I thought I already answered this on the application!'

Their response: 'Well, we get a lot of applicants who lie on their resume. So we have to double-check.'

If this company is worth their salt, they would be able to weed out the liars from the pack by examining CVs. And if your company's name is English and Skype, why didn't they conduct the interview on Skype rather than via a phone call?

 

Don't waste your time. Don't even 'dare' to send your resume. Even if you do get hired, this company, which is so retardedly named, will not be around long enough to get and retain students when there are numerous other companies in Russia that provide a better, more quality online learning experience.

Crap! Crap! Crap!

Shamal Solutions in Al Ain United Arab Emirates (UAE)

After a short break with my wife, I'm back. But you'll be happy to know I have a sweet baby girl!

Now on to the job posting from Shamal Solutions at Dave's ESL Cafe.

 Job Posting continued...

 All systems are a 'go' on this job!

First of all Shamal Solutions used to be called SPECTRE. A lot of bad rap this company had gotten. Who knows exactly why the name was changed, perhaps it was the reputation, or perhaps they added another partner to the business.

With that being said, all of the information you will find about SPECTRE is bad.

But what I can tell you from personal experience, is this place is good.

'Good?' you ask. 'How so?'

First of all, you need to know your personality, the one at leisure and the one at work.

I interviewed with them some months previously, and had to say I was quite impressed.

They teach military students conversational English so that they may acquire the necessary proficiency score to attend Aerospace training the USA. That made me feel good inside. A teaching situation in the Middle East actually has consequences. By far the exception rather than the rule.

A year (or perhaps more) with ESP: Aerospace English on your CV will speak volumes about your employee quality. If you can do this, you'd be kicking ass for future employment opportunities.

For this context, as I was explained in the interview, you will need to be able to conduct lessons in a PPP (Presentation-Practice-Produce) method, where you introduce concepts, target language to students, give them some guided practice, and then a further activity to practice the concept/ target language in a less guided manner. If you have obtained a CELTA in the last 5-6 years, you already know how to do this teaching method. So far easy, peas-y…

Can you handle unannounced observations? If you've got your organization skills maxed, ensure you and the students are always on task, then I say you will not be fazed by anyone observing you. Whether it be a fellow colleague or a General just coming in to see that you are doing your job. 'No problem, quality assurance. I got it,' you say.

The kicker is the probation period: 3 months, during which you will have to make monthly visa runs out of the country. Yes you read that correctly.

Worst of all, none of those trips are reimbursed. No travel arrangements made for you.

The probation period is what scared me off the job. I couldn't risk such a situation with doing visa runs and possibly not passing probation period with my wife in-country.

But after you pass probation…you get your housing allowance, which includes a yearly rental fee payment for any accommodation you choose. You can stay at one of the more upscale compounds, like Oasis Villas or the swanky 110,000 DHS/ year villas near the new mall in Saniya.

HOWEVER (And it's a big one), despite the negatives, I would apply for this job.

Despite the high-pressure situation, and the occasional, irregular shift timings (possibly 12 hour days and asked to cover for teacher absences, for which you do get compensated in extra vacation days) I would have gone full willy-nilly into this teaching post if my wife was not in-country.

I strongly urge any Americans or Canadians at home or working in different countries, apply for this post. Al Ain is a nice quiet town with a lot more activities to do in say Riyadh or Jeddah, KSA. You can get a few drinks at any of the hotels (barring the Ayla Hotel), go shopping and enjoy cheaper prices than Dubai or Abu Dhabi. And if you so fancy, can hop in a relatively priced rental car (around 2,000 DHS at Europcar) and drive to the mega-cities for a different sort of fun.

Apply! Apply! Apply!  

But keep a few things in mind: make sure you got the PPP lesson down pat, you know how to elicit target language from students, introduce vocabulary well, time/ classroom management is not an issue, you don't give a flying f* who comes to observe you because you are an insanely great teacher and keep the students motivated and on-task all the time, you don't mind working extra hours because you will get extra vacation time for it, and you are coming to the UAE without dependents without worry that if you don't pass probation, than so be it. You won't want to pay for two or more people's expensive seats on an airplane back to the USA or Canada.  

If this is you, send your CV to Dr. Alan; he's the man. Straightforward, down-to-business, totally respectable.